


The best kind of suffering

by wrunic



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, It's the main ship, M/M, Pining, Pre-established Mullette, Slow Burn, Some lams - Freeform, jeffmads - Freeform, mullette, oh the pining, well kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 02:52:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10151714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrunic/pseuds/wrunic
Summary: Rooming with your best friend? Fun. Rooming with your best friend while also having a massive crush on them? Yeah, not so much.Aka, A TRASHY COLLEGE AU, but this time, it's Jeffmads because I couldn't find any that had it as the central ship and decided to take matters into my own hands. I hope you enjoy.Comments are highly appreciated!





	1. Chapter 1

Being roommates with your best friend is supposed to be fun. However, if you have a massive, secret crush on said friend, things start to get complicated. This was the current situation of James Madison. He was starting his first year at NYU with Thomas Jefferson, his best friend since grade ten, and his crush since, since... Well, he wasn't sure, but there'd come a point when instead of tuning out Thomas's flirting and innuendos, he'd be embarassed when they were directed at him, and absurdly jealous when they were directed at others. He'd been essentially suffering in silence for the past year, pining miserably and wondering why he had to fall for the biggest flirt he knew.  
***  
It was finally Friday, the end of their first week at school, which meant James finally had free time. So what was he doing? Lying in bed and reading like the nerd he was. He was actually enjoying the book, until Thomas walked in, and his concentration walked out. He begrudgingly put the book down next to him.

"Anything exciting happen in debate?" 

The answer was a four minute rant about "ALEXANDER FUCKING HAMILTON" that he barely listened to, opting instead to watch Thomas as he talked. He was always so passionate when he spoke, pacing around and gesturing wildly. James was perfectly happy watching him rant until Thomas started to change into pyjamas and all of a sudden holyshithe'sshirtless. He quickly picked the book back up and started "reading" (staring at the page for a minute and then turning it) to disguise the fact that he was now the same colour as the magenta shirt Thomas was no longer wearing.

"... He's bad enough in history class, but he's absolutely insufferable you're not even listening, are you?" 

He tuned back in when Thomas addressed him.

"Of course I am." He said defensively. "I can read and listen." 

Thomas walked, or, more accurately, flounced, over to James. 

"I demand your full, undivided attention. It's the least I deserve." He said, dramatically draping himself over James's bed. 

James rolled his eyes and looked back at his book, still not reading because the only thing his brain could do was scream "HOLY SHIT THOMAS ISN'T WEARING A SHIRT" over and over. After being ignored for a few seconds, Thomas got up and walked over to his side of the room, sitting down on his bed. 

"Good book?"

"Mhm."

"You'd probably enjoy it more if it wasn't upside down."

"What?" He focused on the book for a second and realized that it was, in fact, upside down. His mind scrambled for a plausible excuse.

"Oh, I didn't get much sleep." It was weak at best, but it seemed to have distracted Thomas for the time being.

"How much?" Thomas asked, sitting up straighter and looking intently at James. James mumbled something that he knew Thomas wouldn't be able to hear. Thomas asked again, in a slightly harsher tone. 

"/How much/?"

"Three hours."

Thomas exploded. "WHAT?" 

James leaned away slightly, even though Thomas was in the other side of the room.

"I was writing an essay!"

Thomas glared suspiciously at him. "I know for a fact you had one essay due, and it's seven pages long. You could have finished that in two hours."

James looked sheepishly at his sheets. "I may have gone a bit over the page limit."

Thomas's expression didn't change, his eyes boring into James.

"Okay, a lot over the page limit. 22 pages over the limit." He mumbled, not looking up.

"YOU WROTE TWENTY NINE PAGES?"

"I had a lot to say!" He said defensively.

Thomas stood up and marched over to James, grabbing his book and glaring at him. "Sleep. Now." 

"What?"

"You're sick and you need to sleep."

"But I have another essay!" He protested weakly.

"And you can work on it tomorrow." Thomas had clearly made up his mind, and James knew there was no point in arguing with him. And he /was/ tired. Deciding he'd fought back enough to make it seem that he wasn't totally head over heels, he curled up and silently wondered how the hell he was going to make it through the year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens

Thomas sat in his bed, looking over at James but keeping quiet so he wouldn't wake him. He was curled into a ball, with his cheek squished into the pillow, facing Thomas. He was adorable when he was asleep. Well, he was adorable all the time really, no, stop, bad Thomas, he's your /friend/. He sighed and picked up his phone.

MagentaMenace: H E L P

Largebaguette: What is it now, Thomas?

MagentaMenace : I think I have a crush on James what do I do

Largebaguette : Seriously? You're only realizing now?

MagentaMenace : Just shut up and HELP ME

Largebaguette : Why don't you tell him?

MagentaMenace : It might ruin our friendship if he doesn't like me back.

Laf sighed profoundly. He had been friends with both of them for years, and he'd seen the way they looked at each other. The amount of times he'd wanted to scream "JUST KISS ALREADY!" at them was incalculable.

Largebaguette : He does, trust me

MagentaMenace : Yeah, but what if he doesn't?

Largebaguette : Did you text me to ask for advice, or to complain?

MagentaMenace : Meet me tomorrow in the library? For help.

Largebaguette : I'm free now if you want

MagentaMenace : James is asleep, I can't leave him alone.

Laf shook his head and smiled at the phone, even though Thomas couldn't see.

Largebaguette : You, mon ami, are in way too deep.

Thomas didn't respond to Lafayette's last message, instead shutting off his phone and sighing at how right he was.

***  
Laf waited for fifteen minutes before deciding that Thomas wasn't going to respond. He then immediately opened the "Revolutionary Set" groupchat.

Largebaguette : THOMAS EST AMOUREUX DE JAMES.

Horsefucker: Yeah, we knew that.

Turtleboy: Herc, I think Alex changed your name again.

*Horsefucker changed their name to: "FuckyouAlex"*

Hammythehamman: You ruin all my fun

FuckyouAlex : I challenge your definition of "fun"

Largebaguette : Yeah, well Thomas told me now! We have proof. All the suffering will soon be over 

Hammythehamman : Remind me why I care.

Largebaguette : We won't have to deal with the pining anymore

Hammythehamman : You are the only person who had to deal with this

Turtleboy : Yeah the rest of us have only known them a week

Hammythehamman : And Jefferson pisses me off.

Largebaguette : So? Be happy for me

Turtleboy: yay.

Largebaguette : Je vous déteste tous. Bonne nuit.

***  
Alex stared at his phone for a few seconds. Despite his no shits given attitude in the conversation, he was overjoyed. Why? Because now he knew that Thomas Jefferson had a weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a fit of inspiration, I wrote two chapters today.
> 
> French translations:
> 
> Mon Ami:. My friend
> 
> Sont amoureux : are in love
> 
> Je vous déteste tous. Bonne nuit.: I hate you all. Goodnight


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas has a sexuality crisis and Laf is done with his shit.

Thomas woke up the next morning to James already sitting at his computer.

"How long have you been up?"

James sighed and rolled his eyes. "Since eight o'clock. I got like twelve hours of sleep, I'm /fine/."

"Okay. Uh, good." He ran a hand through his hair and picked up his phone, scrolling back through his conversation with Laf. 

"MagentaMenace: I think I have a crush on James what do I do"

Shit. That couldn't be right. What time had he sent that? 8:30 pm. Okay, that didn't give him much of an excuse. But he had only gotten... He did some math in his head. Four and a half hours of sleep that day. It had been three and a half, but James had offered to take notes for him in English so he could sleep. While James was running on even less sleep than he was. He'd have to lecture him on that later. Anyway, he chalked the text up to sleep deprivation and sent Laf a message.

MagentaMenace : False alarm. I don't like him.

Largebaguette : WHAT?

MagentaMenace : chill. I was tired yesterday

Largebaguette : Non. You did not give me false hope. Meet me at the library in fifteen minutes.

MagentaMenace : fine

Thomas sighed and went to get dressed.

"I'm going to go meet Laf at the library, okay?"

"Yeah, have fun." He hadn't looked up from his computer, which was weird, but it didn't mean anything, and even if it did it wouldn't matter because Thomas /didn't like him./

"Bye Jemmy." He grinned, knowing the nickname annoyed James, who rolled his eyes, right on cue.

"Bye Thomas."

***  
Laf sat in the library, tapping his foot impatiently. Honestly, the nerve of Thomas. He'd been dealing with pining from James and denial from Thomas for /years/, and just when he thought it was going to work out: BOOM, the denial was back. He grumbled quietly until Thomas walked in, when he put on his most winning smile and called out "Thomas! Par ici!" He waited patiently for Thomas to take a seat across from him.

"So why did you ask me to - "

He was interrupted by Laf grabbing his shoulders and whispering menacingly.

"Écoute moi petit putain."

"Did you just call me "little slut"?"

"I also told you to listen, but that clearly went right over your head." 

He released Thomas's shoulders, deciding intimidation probably wasn't the best tactic.

"You are in love with James."

"But I - "

"Chut! This has been painfully clear to me for over six months, and I want you to do something about it before I kill you both. Compris?"

"Despite your stunning delivery, there is a flaw in your logic" Thomas leaned back in his chair, placing his arms behind his head.

"Which is?"

"I'm straight."

Laf looked at the magenta button up Thomas was wearing, then back at Thomas, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"First of all, that's a lot of stereotyping for someone currently dating another guy, and second of all, if that's all you're going off of, you have a very weak argument."

"That's not all I'm going off of." Laf grinned. He'd been waiting for this.

"What else is there?"

"Your own word." He said dramatically, placing his phone - open to their conversation the day before - in front of Thomas.

Thomas stared at the phone for a second, mumbling something about sleep deprivation.

Laf grinned. Now that he was winning, he was having fun. 

"Oh, no. You don't get to pull the "I was tired". You like him, and I'm not going to leave you alone until you admit it."

"Fine." He sighed. "I like James. But that doesn't mean I'm gay!"

"No, not necessarily, you could be bi, or possibly pan?"

Thomas leaned forward so the chair back on four legs. 

"No, I'm not, I'm not any of those things! The James thing is a glitch in an otherwise heterosexual existence and it'll go away soon."

He sounded so unsure, so desperate. Laf shook his head gently.

"That's not how it works, Thomas."

Thomas ran a hand through his hair. 

"Y-yeah, I know. But I thought if I told myself that.. that it would." 

Laf smiled sadly at him.

"This means I'm going to have to deal with more pining, right?"

Thomas laughed in relief. 

"Definitely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translations: Chut! : Shush  
> Compris?: Understand?
> 
> Long drive, lots of writing. I posted this in a Walgreens parking lot using their wi-fi.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf is frustrated because THEY AREN'T TOGETHER YET

The next few weeks passed pretty uneventfully, to Laf's great frustration.

He was eating lunch with the "Hamilsquad" ( Alex insisted on calling them that now ), and watching James and Thomas from across the cafeteria when he finally snapped. He groaned and lay his head on the table.

"What is it?" Herc asked, putting his arm around Laf's shoulders.

"Them!" He exclaimed, pointing at Thomas and James. "/Look/ at them!' 

Herc looked over obligingly. James was talking and Thomas was looking at him with rapt attention, smiling, until James looked at him, when he took a bite of mac 'n cheese to cover it.

"Yeah, that's pretty bad." He admitted, rubbing Laf's shoulder comfortingly.

Alex and John had also looked over, and both nodded in agreement, Alex making gagging noises as well. Herc and Laf shared a look that said "don't act like you two are any different." 

"We need to do something about this." Laf said, sitting up slightly.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "I think you mean /you/ need to do something about this. I can watch him suffer forever."

John elbowed him. "Be nice."

Alex was about to protest, but John's look shut him up. "Whatever. Do what you want, but I'm not helping." 

Herc kissed Laf on the temple. "I'll help."

John lifted his chin in Alex's direction. "I'm with him on this one." 

Laf muttered "Of course you are," under his breath and Herc laughed quietly. However, despite his sarcasm, this actually allowed his plan to kill two birds with one stone.

"So what's your plan?" Herc asked.

Laf grinned evily. "I," he paused dramatically, "am going to throw a party."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there was some Mullette. And some hinted Lams, which will be important next chapter *evil cackle* ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving it a mystery

A few days later, Thomas was walking across campus when he saw Hamilton, secretly watching Laurens painting from behind a tree. Oh, this was too good an opportunity to waste. He strolled over to Hamilton's tree, grinning widely.

"So, Laurens, huh?"

Alex jumped a bit, but recovered quickly.

"So, James, huh?" He said, imitating Thomas's tone.

"Who told y - Laf. It was Laf. Of course it was Laf."

"It's also painfully obvious." Alex rolled his eyes and turned back to watching John.

Thomas raised his eyebrows.  
"Says the guy currently stalking his crush." 

"I am not stalk -" He stopped mid-sentence, refusing to acknowledge that Thomas was right, but not able to prove him wrong. They stood together in silence for a few seconds, until John dropped his eraser and kicked over his can of pencils while reaching for it, prompting Thomas to remark: "He's a bit of a klutz, isn't he?"

Alex immediately went on the defensive. "At least he's strong enough to take three steps without coughing."

Thomas stiffened. "What did you say?"

Alex had regretted the words the second they left his mouth, even /he/ wasn't that much of an asshole, but he was too proud to back down now. "You heard me. He's weak. And you know what? I still think he could do better than you."

And that's when Thomas punched him in the jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, I really wanted the ending to pack a punch *knee slap*


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the fight

James was working on yet another essay when he heard a knock at the door, which was weird, because Thomas would normally just walk in, and if people came to visit, it was to see Thomas. He shrugged and got up, walking over to open the door, mentally preparing his "Thomas is out at the moment" speech, but when he opened the door, he was greeted by Thomas himself, with a cut lip and the beginnings of a black eye.

"Hi Jemmy."

James gasped. "Oh my god, what did you /do/?" and draped one of Thomas's arms over his shoulders, trying to support some of his weight.  
Thomas winced as he walked to his bed, because despite James's best efforts, he was short and couldn't help much.

"Got into a fight."

"With who?" He exclaimed, hovering until Thomas sat down, then taking off to find his first aid kit. (He'd known it was only a matter of time before something like this happened)

"Hamilton. For someone so short, he packs a punch."

James shouldn't have been surprised, the two had been arguing non-stop since they'd met, but it had never gotten personal enough to merit actual punching.

"What were you fighting about?" He asked, walking over to Thomas's bed and handing him some ice. Thomas took it and put it over his eye.

"Um, nothing important." An obvious lie, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell James what had happened. James decided not to pry, grabbing an alcohol swab out of the kit and starting to clean the cut on Thomas's lip, too focused on the task to realize how close together they were. Thomas, on the other hand, was all too aware of that fact, and was trying very hard to focus on /literally anything else./

"Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"Yeah, I've got bruises pretty much everywhere, but I can handle that." Please stop looking concerned and back up because if you don't I'm going to kiss you and that would be really awkward. He tried to smile reassuringly, but with the current state of his face, that didn't work out too well.

"Did you get caught?"

Thomas sighed. "Not by a teacher, but Angelica wants to have a talk with us tomorrow."

James laughed a little. "That's probably worse."

"Almost definitely." He shifted a bit, wincing. "I'm going to try and sleep this off."

James took the ice and started reassembling the first aid kit. "Tell me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay." He rolled over so that he was lying on the side of him that hurt the least. "G'night."

James gazed longingly at the back of his head for a few seconds, before sighing softly.

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 'tis I. I finished writing it, and it should all be up by the end of the week! Whooo


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelica has a talk with Thomas and Alex.
> 
> Meanwhile, John and James bond over their crushes being idiots

After school the next day, Thomas and Alex, reluctantly, both went to the library to meet with Angelica. Thomas arrived shortly after Alex, and observed the giant bruise on Alex's jaw with pride. He sauntered over to the table and sat across from him.

"Hamilton." He said, not even bothering to keep the contempt out of his voice.

"Jeffershit."

It was probably a good thing that Angelica showed up at that point.

"Well," she said, clasping her hands together and sitting at the head of the table, "I can already tell this is going to be fun."

"Care to tell us why we're here, Angie?" Thomas asked, leaning back and stretching his legs under the table so they interfered with Hamilton's.

"Because," she said, cocking her head to the side and giving Thomas a look that made him quickly sit up straight, "you two are constantly fighting, and frankly it's a pain in the ass for everyone who's friends with you. It's bad enough when you're just arguing, but if you're actually /fighting/ it's worse. So unless you both want to lose all of your friends, I suggest that you get your shit together." She took a breath and looked at both of them, her expression showing she was dead serious. 

"It was his fault!" They said simultaneously, pointing at each other. Angelica sighed profoundly and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" 

The story took ten minutes to tell, because they kept interrupting each other and bickering over minor details.

"Okay," Angelica finally said. "Let me see if I've got this right: you" she pointed at Thomas, "insulted John, so you, " she pointed at Alex, "insulted James-"

"Twice!" Thomas interrupted.

"Twice," she amended, "so you" she pointed back at Thomas, "punched him?"

"Yeah."

"Basically."

She shook her head, laughing softly. "So you got into a fist fight defending your crushes honors?"

They looked at each other and Thomas said

"...Uh, yes?"

She started full on laughing now, only stopping when she ran out of air. 

"That" she paused for a second to catch her breath, "is the best thing I've heard all day." Both boys looked at her, red with embarrassment.

"Anyway, Laf is having a party in his dorm tonight to 'celebrate the truce', so I'll see you tonight, okay." They both mumbled agreement, Alex standing and walking out with Angelica, Thomas waiting until they were gone before heading back to his dorm, not wanting to spend a second more than necessary with Hamilton. 

***

James was on the other side of the library, not-so-subtily watching the "peace talk", when someone tapped on his shoulder. He jumped slightly, turning to see who it was, and was met with the freckled face of... John Laurens? Since when did he talk to James? 

"Can I help you?" 

"Yeah, actually. Can you hear anything?"

James sighed. "No, they're too far away. Why do you want to know, anyway?"

John blushed a bit. "Uh, Alex wouldn't tell me what the fight was about, and I kinda want to know."

"That's weird, Thomas didn't tell me either." He said, turning so he was completely facing John.

"Huh."

They sat in semi awkward silence for a few seconds, watching the conversation unfold. 

"So, are you and Jefferson, like, a thing?" John finally asked.

"What? I- we- uh..." He stammered awkwardly for a few seconds, before finally concluding "straight."

John watched with amusement and some pity, because he knew he would react the same way if someone were to ask him about Alex. "Who, you or him?"

"Him." He said, glancing wistfully over his shoulder at Thomas. John smiled sympathetically.

"As head of the unrequited crushes club, I would like to formally welcome you." He extended his hand. James shook it, smiling. It was nice to talk to someone in the same situation. John looked over James's shoulder at Thomas, who was now sitting alone, and glaring protectively at the pair. John released James's hand quickly. 

"I'm going to go meet up with Alex. Good luck." He smiled at James, then turned on his heel and headed towards the exit, shaking his head. Straight. Yeah right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf's party happens

It took some negotiation, but Thomas finally got James to agree to come to the party. He did bring a book, and said that he would only do the minimum amount of socializing required, but it was progress. Once they arrived, James, true to his word, said hello to everyone, made small talk for twenty minutes, then claimed a spot on the couch and started reading. After about an hour, Thomas sat down beside him and gently tapped him on the shoulder.

"I brought you a Sprite."

James accepted the can and took a few sips, then placed it on the floor in front of him. 

"Thanks. Anything exciting happening?"

"Not really. Cute new girl, that's about it."

"Oh?" Of course there was. He picked his drink back up and sipped some more, scanning for someone he didn't recognize. He finally spotted her, and shit, she was cute.

"Yeah. Her name's Sally, I talked to her, she seems nice. I could set you up if you'd like." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at James.

James coughed in surprise and some of the Sprite went up his nose. "I think I'm okay, thanks." He put the can back on the ground and quickly changed the subject. They talked for a few minutes, until James spotted Laf walking over to Alex and whispering something to him. Alex turned bright red, his expression livid.

"He said /what/? JEFFERSON!" he exclaimed, scanning the crowd for him. Thomas turned around leisurely.

"Yes?"

"Get your southern ass over here so I can beat it again!"

"With all due respect Hamilton, I think it was your ass that got beaten last time." he drawled, oozing false charm. He looked like he was about to get up, and James panicked, and, desperate to avoid another fight, climbed onto Thomas's lap to keep him from moving. 

"James, what the hell are you doing?"

He had no idea. "Preventing another fight."

"Good sentiment, but it's going to take more than that. Hamilton you bastard, - " he was cut off by James clapping his hand over his mouth. Thomas, without missing a beat, licked the inside of his palm. 

"EW!" James quickly pulled his hand away and wiped it on the couch. By the time he was done, Thomas had restarted berating Hamilton, and James, not seeing another way to stop Thomas, grabbed his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep.


	9. Chapter 9

Their lips had barely touched when whatever part of James's normally well controlled brain that had allowed for this to happen switched off, and he started thinking again. He was kissing Thomas. /Shit/. His eyes snapped open and he pulled away.

"Oh god." He put a hand over his mouth, as if trying to keep it from doing any more damage. "Shit. I'm sorry." He pushed himself off Thomas's lap and as far away as the couch would allow. "I didn't mean to do that." Thomas still hadn't said anything, staring wide-eyed and mouth agape at James. James turned away, and, because the situation wasn't bad enough already, started stress coughing, which meant he couldn't run away, which had been his plan, and was now stuck on the couch with Thomas until the coughing stopped. God, he was an /idiot/. He felt a hand rubbing his back, and heard Thomas muttering encouragement, which was what he always did when this happened. "This" being a coughing fit, not an impromptu kiss. /That/ had never happened before. That thought brought James back to reality. Why was Thomas helping? He should hate James now, or at least be pissed enough to have left. Whatever should be happening, /this/ was not it. After a few minutes, James stopped coughing.

"So... do you...like me?" Thomas asked.

James mentally went over excuses. Drunk? The only thing he'd had was Sprite, which Thomas had brought him, so that was a no. Sleep deprived? Also a no go, Thomas had been making sure he got at least six hours a night. The only option left was... the truth.

"Yeah, I - I do." It was awkward to say, because he'd never really expected to say it.

"Good." Thomas said. " 'Cause I like you too."

"What?! But you're straight, and I'm awkward and I stress cough and -" he was cut off by Thomas pulling him into a kiss, eliciting a yelp of surprise.

"And you're kind, and smart, and really fucking hot." James turned bright red at the last remark, which made Thomas laugh.

Across the room, Laf watched the scene unfold with satisfaction, elbowing Herc and pointing to the couch. "I told you, parties always work."

"Yeah, yeah." Herc made a megaphone out of his hands. "GET A ROOM YOU TWO!"

Thomas flipped him off, then turned to a still-red James and kissed him again. And it, in James's opinion, was the best kiss ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! And, if anyone's interested, I'm currently working on my next fic, so that should start updating soon!

**Author's Note:**

> So, for anyone that doesn't know when text is like this: /ABC/ it's like it's in italics. I wrote this on my phone so I couldn't actually put it in italics, I may fix it later.


End file.
